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• <H1> 
• <H2> 
• <H2> Humanism
• <H2> Maybe?
• <H4> I am sure a lot of you have met this type of person.The “know it all” the  MY opinions are more valied than yours” and the “Because of my life experiences what I say is right”
• <H4> It can sometimes be very hurtful, especially in families where there is conflict about past events.  We all make mistakes and when we reflect on them we might want to blame others for our mistakes,  or colour them the way we want to see them which is usually not reality.  Blaming each other is not the answer.  We all do things that we regret, which we really didn’t mean or maybe we did mean however, at the time we were not aware of the problems or hurt it would cause when reflected on  in the future.
• <H4> Bringing up the past and having an attitude of the “know it all” is not the way to go.  Step back and instead of saying “This is the way it  was”  try taking a different stance by saying “Maybe it was this way” try not to take an aggresive stance.  We would all feel much better.
• <H4> For example
• <H4> “My mother was always shouting at me”  this statement makes you feel upset.
• <H4> “Maybe my mother did shout quite a lot”  this statement wont.
• <H4> “You were always putting me down”  this hurts.
• <H4> “Maybe you were going through a difficult time life wasnt perfect”.  this doesnt hurt
• <H4> Most parents do the best they can for there siblings but sometimes life gets in the way.  Always try and forgive your parents especially in their Autumn years. It would make everyone much happier.
• <H4> The past should be left where it is in the past.
• <H4> If you blame your parents it:s likely your children will blame you, when you speak “listen” to what your saying, because you bet your life your children will be.
• <H4> MAYBE!!
• <H2> Gardening Expert Not
• <H4> Being retired I find myself attempting to re-create a little oasis of flora and ferna where I can sip coffee, read and while away the hours on lovely summer days.  Phew if only!
• <H4> I have trawled round garden centres looking for plants that will inspire me to start my creation.  Not much luck I’m afraid!  I buy flowers that look pretty when I buy them. plants that say one thing and turn out to be another (in my hands anyway)  I  read the information and use fertilizers or whatever they ask me to use, however, they never quite turn out the same as the lovely pictures on the label.
• <H4> Yesterday I went on line and looked around for the sort of garden I would like to recreate and I found one, you can look at it on line if you tap in 42 Falconer Road, Bushey or Red Cross Organisation. I think it’s slightly longer than my garden but it is really lovely, sort of a Victorian garden.  I think I would have to plant a few trees.
• <H4> In some of my hanging baskets this year I planted some begonia, they seem to have taken quite well compared to the mess surrounding them.
• <H4> Good luck with yours!
• <H2> No One Knows the Answers
• <H4> More lately I’m coming across people who are full of confidence and have all the answers.  Who ignore the views of their elders and think they know better, Something I have learned is that it between the ages of 30 to 50 people seem to be more assured of themselves, confident in what they do and willing to put it out there, on reflection I was the same, however, every decade brings more uncertainty, we start asking ourselves ‘Did we do the right thing back then?’  ‘Am I to blame? even ‘Do we really care anymore?’  You always look back and wonder.  Whatever decade your in the people in the same decade will understand you.  Don’t expect to understand the people of the next decade, because believe me we all change.  What was important to us in our 20’s & 30’s is less important in your 40’s & 50’s.  In the 60’s & 70’s you care even less and probably by 80’s & 90’s you don’t give a dam. lol  So just let it go.  Times racing on.  Live a good life and don’t worry about too much, as you are being propelled more quickly than you think towards a closing of the day when you will say ‘Why the hell did I worry about that?’
• <H4> Be nice to old people because they are you in years to come.
• <H2> Real Love
• <H4> First and foremost we are are partners best friend…and we should treat them accordingly. As guardian over another person’s feelings, we should lift them up when their own belief in themselves falters. When our loved one doubts their beauty, we should remind them how beautiful they are. We should encourage them to stretch and grow even if we fear they will “grow” away from us.  We should stretch and grow ourselves in order that we become a support instead of a burden.  We should applaud when they are succeeding. We should not begrudge them their  success…despite how unsuccessful we may be feeling at the moment.  We should applaud them even if they have not succeeded….and we should let them know that “It’s all happening perfectly,” and that we are behind them.. Our support is reciprocal. “I depend on you sometimes and you depend on me sometimes.” We don’t buy into dependency, but encourage them to stand on their own two feet.  Sometimes this requires tough love!   As we cease being the victim in our own lives, we encourage them to cease being a victim in their lives as well.  It means we protect the wounded child within them instead of making them bleed more than they are already bleeding.  We don’t look for them to make us happy, but look to be happy within ourselves.  The beauty of it all is that as we offer inspiration to our loved one, we also inspire ourselves. Remember, when we drag our mate down, we drag ourselves down as well.  If we work to create a real love…we can’t help but bring our loved ones with us.
• <H2> Ruby/6
• <H4> It seems we might be making headway with Ruby. after taking bark collar off after two weeks she no longer barks in the night, at bout 10.30 we snuggle her down with a little treat and she goes to sleep till my partner wakes at 6.30, at weekends she sleeps a little longer.
• <H4> She was scratching at her face and howling a week ago and I decided to take her to the vets, ha, very costly after an examination and the vet giving her  two ear creams and an injection I had to pay out £106 after going back yesterday and saying that the scratching had nearly subsided, the vet gave her two more creams and some steroid tablets, another £88. I have to go back in two weeks as he said she might be starting with an allergy.  Dog pound for you Ruby lol. Getting expensive.  I can claim back on insurance some of it, I must admit I didn;t realise how costly pets could be.
• <H4> Still Ruby is a lovely dog and not much problem.  Loves her walks out and I do too, we have met some great dog people, she is still a velcro dog though, at the moment she is sitting there with her big soulful eyes waiting for me to take her out.  Shower time now then ‘walkies’ lol
• <H4> We have had some sad news of late and I have been a bit pre-occupied, so I am trying to make it up to her now, dogs are very resilient I suppose just like children.  Lay down the rules and stick to them and everything works out well. Consistancy is the key.
• <H4> Have a good day! xx
• <H2> Ruby/5
• <H4> Just an update that the dog collar is working well.  It doesn’t seem to bother Ruby.  We take it off her as soon as we get up and she has been fine. It seems she barks once and then that is it.  Happy we have found a solution and I think the neighbours will be pleased.
• <H4> Doggy Dan the guy from New Zealand who is a dog trainer has helped me quite a lot by  his video which I had to pay about £6 for but well worth it.  Dan say’s you have to get the 5 rules right to become the Alpha Male.  Once you have achieved them you will have a well behaved dog who knows his/her place and this will make for a happier dog as you dog doesn’t really want to be the Alpha male they want to feel secure in the knowlege you love them and will protect them.  Being a novice in regards to dogs I feel a lot what he says makes sense. I think I have achieved 3 of them. Here they are:
• <H4>  Control the food.that means letting the dog eat after you and pretend your eating his food before you feed them.  Ruby didn’t eat her food well and since I have started doing this she wolfs her food down I think she thinks I’m going to eat it. ha ha.  Dan say’s that don’t let the dog keep bones as they hide them and your not fully in charge of the food. I now pick them up when she is not chewing them and put them away.
• <H4> Don’t let your dog jump up and when they do ignore them push them down. Say ‘off’ or ‘down’  This has been hard for me because Ruby jumps up to greet me when I come home and in the morning. I’m training my family and friends not to respond to her greeting, to ignore her till she is down on four feet.  Then when she is calm pet her.  Really difficult for me this one. It’s not good for your dog to jump up to greet people especially chilldren whom they could easily knock down.
• <H4> When your dog comes to you for attention ignore them. Alpha Male has to be the one who instigates attention.This one is difficult too because all I want to do is sweep her up into my arms lol.
• <H4> Walk through doors first.  Always making sure they have calmed down before they go out even if you have to sit down with your coat on till the dog gets calm
• <H4> In stressful situations always keep calm put your dog on a lead and walk them calmly away.  Practive ‘recall’ till you get it right by giving them treats when they come back to you. I’m not good at this today for instance in the park a big dog started chasing Ruby and barking at her, she ran like the wind to get away I shouted at the dog because Ruby was frightened and yelped. Ruby ran to me and I picked her up quickly.  The dog owner was opologetic saying this had never happened before.  I can’t say I was calm although I did try to be. My heart was racing as fast as Ruby’s lol.
• <H2> Ruby/4
• <H4> Yesterday my daughter and I took Ruby around the dog field, she loved it. There were lots of dogs she interacted with, flying round having a great time.  Only one dog, a small terrier made her yelp when the play became too frisky.  It’s interesting to watch the big dogs, they seem to realise she is a puppy and ignore her or give her a push if she becomes too annoying.  I guess Ruby is starting to realise there is a ‘pecking order’  as after the incident she became less excited  and a bit cautious at joining in the play.  I am sure she will learn like we all do that in some situtions it’s best to leave well alone.
• <H4> Well still having problems with barking at night time, we decided to buy a Petsafe Anti-bark Spray Collar., We tried it for the first time last night.  It is a contraption that is placed round the neck and sprays out a substance when the dog barks, perfectly safe and vets approve of.  We did not put it on Ruby before we went to bed  she barked as we went to bed then again at 3.55 am we tried to calm her down, to no avail, so at 4,30 am we put on the collar.   We heard her bark once then silence, we were worried to death that something was wrong or maybe it had killed her lol so we went to see, she was just fine lying on her bed.  Although we are stll suffering from sleep deprivation the collar did seem to work,  with no drastic side effects.  We took off the collar off as soon as we got up, as we only want to use it at night when the problem is worse, she will only be wearing it for at least 7 hours.  We don’t like using this method, we are only going to try it for two weeks to see how she gets on, hopefully she will get the message and become a calmer dog.  I have sent off for some calming spray which you just spray on the dogs bed at night time.  I am going to try this as well because I would prefer that to the collar which I think might be uncomfortable for her as it is a little bulky.
• <H4> 
• <H2> My Ruby/3
• <H4> I’d like to start this post with how well it was going on the night barking.  No have not cracked it yet and although I said I would’t  spray her with water have gone back on my word, well what can I say not happy at being woken up at 4 in the morning with barking and howling for several nights my partner and I went down and sprayed her in the face with a small bottle spray.  Oh I did not like it but it worked she went back to sleep till 6.  I might add he had to do this 3 times. It does work for a short period of time. Ruby also barks when I leave the house.  I visited my friend today and she was still barking when I came back. I have searched the internet for answers and have sent off for a spray which vets reccommend, apparently you spray it on their bedding and it calms them down.  I have also sent off for a citronelle spray collar which was also reccommended, better the collar takes the blame for spraying her not us ha!
• <H4> Apart from this I feel I am getting on well with the other training.   Ruby is not pulling me down the road anymore and is eating all her food.  She obeys the order of ‘off, sit and lie down’  which is making my life a little easier.  i instigate cuddles not her and do not aknowledge her when I walk in the door till she has calmed down. If I can crack this barking lark I will be really happy.
• <H4> Ruby is such a loving dog happy to sit on my knee like a little Koala bear and let me rub her tummy, she licks my face quite a lot (not sure about this) she also likes playing ball and actually drops the ball in my hand lol. Her glee at seeing me after returning lifts me up, she sits looking at me as if I was the most important person in the universe ha!  Maybe we should all try this tactic lol..
• <H4> All Good, well almost!
• <H2> My Ruby/2
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